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HTTPS://INTERNET---TIMES.COM

We're really internet and we're here to stay. A website about things Will & Seb and various friends & guests think are interesting. Little-to-no specific focus, a bit odd, speling errors, and incredibly culturally relevant. Not the first nor the last. Why copy when you can steal?

The Internet Times

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Tomorrow's news today.

Just Behind the Curtain

Just Behind the Curtain

There's magic in an idea that can only be glimpsed.

Every once in a while, Kendrick Lamar's possibly untitled teaser track for GNX gets stuck in my head. I'm still not sure if it's the track itself or that it's unresolved, abruptly cut off at exactly one minute. A coiled spring. Dangerous. "Curated Vacancy".

The teaser preceded the album release by only 30 minutes. Who needs time to build the tension when information travels at the speed of light? Then, the magic doubled. The track was conspicuously absent from the album it introduced. Maybe it'd be on a deluxe version or only on physical media... but what we got was even better. Feb 2025 at the Super Bowl. Opening track again. The first Super Bowl with a sitting President in attendance, just three months after an election that roiled the country. Samuel L. Jackson as Uncle Sam introducing K.Dot at "The Great American Game". 65,719 in the arena and another 133,500,000 watching at home. Lamar illuminated by a single, far-away spotlight reminiscent of the opening of HUMBLE, gazing downwards while crouched on the hood of black GNX. But this time we get more than a minute. Trump, in his suite, looking down on Lamar, hears for the first time with all of us, "You would not get the picture if I had to sit you for hours in front of the Louvre... started with nothing but government cheese, but now I can seize the government too". While I doubt the bar was directed at the President, artwork worth its while always finds its audience.

Honoré Daumier, The Third-Class Carriage, 1864

Painters for centuries have offered us glimpses behind the curtain. Next time you're in NY go to the Met and visit The Third-Class Carriage (c. 1864). A nursing mother, an old woman, a sleeping boy — peasants in the cheap seats, painted the same as royals. Daumier was a newspaper man, mostly. Lithographs in Le Charivari and a caricature of the king that landed him in prison. Most of his paintings unseen until the year before his death. The completed Third-Class Carriage hangs in Ottawa. The Met's is unfinished. Grid lines still visible under the figures, scaffolding the artist never painted over. "Curated Vacancy" framing the discussion as France realized its democracy. Artwork, like government, belongs to the people.

Sample Man

Sample Man

Every culture has invented a person who doesn't exist.

In Germany he is Max Mustermann — literally "sample man," the body in every form mockup, every license template, every passport example. The female version is Erika Mustermann. In Japan he is Tanaka Tarō (田中太郎): a common surname paired with the canonical first son. In Italy, Mario Rossi. In France, Jean Dupont. In Russia, Ivan Ivanov. Anglophones get John Smith and John Doe.

These names are portraits. "Mustermann" is German bureaucratic literalism — sample-man, the design said quietly out loud. "Tanaka Tarō" is everyman by convention, a common name welded to the canonical first-born. "John Smith" is anglo-protestant stock, occupational surname, biblical first name — a culture's invisible center wearing a nametag. Every default is a confession.

Notice who never gets to be the default. Anyone with three syllables. Anyone with an apostrophe. Anyone whose surname doesn't fit in Latin script. The placeholder human is always the simplest case, engineered to slip past the form validator without complaint.

A whole population of these people lives on staging servers and in tutorial PDFs and on the wall of every passport office in Europe. They never age. They have no children. They appear, fully formed, in a passport photo and stay there forever, smiling out at the actual humans who will never quite match them.

The Graceful Art of Digital Decay

The Graceful Art of Digital Decay

Last week I was thinking about thermal paper receipts — how they're designed to forget. The text just evaporates after a few months. It's built-in obsolescence, but it feels peaceful. It made me wonder what the digital equivalent is.

There really isn't one.

We built our digital infrastructure around the assumption that everything must be kept forever. Storage is cheap, so we hoard. Every typo, every discarded draft, every transaction from 2012 is sitting on a server somewhere, waiting for a retrieval that will never come. Even the things we think are ephemeral aren't. Snapchats disappear from your screen, but the data doesn't degrade. It's just hidden or deleted in one brutal stroke.

Digital things don't rot. They either exist perfectly, or they 404. There is no middle state.

I miss the idea of graceful degradation. A file that slowly loses fidelity every time you open it. A log that starts dropping the least important details over time until only the broad strokes remain. Systems that get tired.

Instead, we have this terrifying, unblinking permanence. The internet is a hyperthymestic machine. It remembers every detail of every day, and like a person with hyperthymesia, it's exhausted by it. I wonder what would happen if we designed protocols that were allowed to forget. Not erase, but forget — a slow fading out. Digital thermal paper. A system that acknowledges that some things just aren't meant to survive the winter.